


Never Let Go

by ImTheGirlofManyFandoms



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Titanic Fusion, And It Is Still Unfinished, Class Differences, I Cried So Many Times Writing This, Liking Boys Whilst Being A Boy is Not Easy, M/M, Major and Minor Character Deaths (later), Misunderstandings, Now It Is Your Turn To Suffer, Porn with Feelings, RMS Titanic, Secret Relationship, Soulmates, Specifically in the 1900's, They're Trying Okay?, enjoy, listen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-22 09:30:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9601829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImTheGirlofManyFandoms/pseuds/ImTheGirlofManyFandoms
Summary: “Mr. McDavid?” Dr. Rosen spoke up. “Can you tell us about what it was like on the boat?”“The boat…” Connor repeated.”Yes of course. It’s been 84 years…”“Tell us what you can.”“It’s been 84 years. I can still smell the fresh paint. The china had never been used. The sheets had never been slept in. The Titanic was called the ship of dreams. And it was. It really was.”-AKA: The Titanic AU no one asked for, but I hope is still wanted. I will do my best to update when I can.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is dedicated to my friends who keep supporting me through writing this. Without you, this would never be possible and I love you so so much.
> 
> I promise I will do all I can to update frequently, should Writer's Block not get to me too often. Love you! Please remember to leave a kudos and comment!

*October 11, 1994. Toronto, OT, Canada*

 

“Uncle?” he heard his niece’s soft voice say. “Dr. Rosen and her crew are here.”

Connor turned his head and looked at his niece. “Let them in, Katie. They’ve come a long way.”

Katie nodded and allowed the camera crew and the doctor into the parlor.

“Mr. McDavid?” a woman’s voice said. He turned his head to see a woman with black hair tied back into a bun and blue eyes seen through a pair of glasses. “Hi, I’m Doctor Nicole Rosen. This is my crew. You must be Connor.”

Connor smiled and nodded weakly. “Yes. That’s me.”

She gently shook his hand out of respect. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. We’ve been talking about this ever since you and your niece contacted us. This is a huge honor, sir.”

“The honor is mine.” the old man replied. “So… You want to know about the ship?”

“Anything you can tell us, yes.” she replied, fixing her glasses on the bridge of her nose. “Including your experience. We’re doing our best to gather information for a research project on the ship with some scientists down in America about it and you are the only person in all of Canada who is still alive to remember it apart from one other person, but sadly, she passed away before we were able to come into contact her or her family.”

Connor nodded. “Yes. I believe her name was Mary, correct? I’ve met her a few times. Daughter of a banker…”

The woman before him nodded and sat down in the chair opposite to him. “Yes. She was, according to her grandson.”

Connor nodded. At almost 104, he was certainly frail. He knew so because of his walker and his glasses the doctor prescribed him for reading. His hair had thinned and turned white like the snow and the wrinkles by his bright eyes remained heavy. His memory was still bright, though. And he didn’t need dentures. This was something he took pride in. But still. He was not the man he had used to be. Especially since that night on the ship…

“Mr. McDavid?” Dr. Rosen spoke up. “Can you tell us about what it was like on the boat?”

“The boat…” Connor repeated.”Yes of course. It’s been 84 years…”

“Tell us what you can.” 

“It’s been 84 years. I can still smell the fresh paint. The china had never been used. The sheets had never been slept in. The Titanic was called the ship of dreams. And it was. It really was...”


	2. The Dock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April 10, 1912...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Promise I will update as often as I can! This is still a fic in progress! Don't forget to leave a kudos, bookmark, and comment!

*April 10, 1912. White Star Dock. Southampton, England.*

Connor stepped out of his taxi and gazed upwards. It was truly a sight to behold. The gold and black smoke stacks shimmered in the light. The smooth, fresh paint of the ship was without flaw, just as everything else seemed to be. And the size of it! He swears he’d never seen anything like it even in his dreams! It left Connor in shock and awe where he stood.

“My God…” was all he could manage out before he started walking towards the dock. “James, do you need help with my bags?”

“No, sir. I have them. But thank you.” said James, the driver of the cab and a friend of his who had worked on the grounds of his school as a keeper as he unloaded Connor’s bags from the motor vehicle. Connor just nodded and looks up as he walks to the loading dock.

“It is unsinkable. They say God Himself couldn’t sink this ship.” James noted as he followed. Connor had heard that from multiple people. It’s one of the primary reasons Connor’s father and mother sent over the extra money and booked him his first class ticket. This was his way home from London and his schooling. Well, not completely. After he docks in New York Harbor, he is to board a train from the city which will take him to Buffalo. And from there, he will be going home to Toronto. And from there… Who knows?

He knows his parents want him to marry Moira, his dad’s friend’s daughter. She was beautiful and kind, but Connor felt nothing towards her except for more platonic feelings. He had a feeling she felt the same way. But he knew it was what his parents expected him to do. He was to marry Moira, have some children, and inherit his father’s company and wealth. That was what it seemed everyone of his status did. He liked the idea of being a father and his father’s company wasn’t bad. But marrying Moira? It was not exactly in his or her favor necessarily. He never thought of her- or really any girl or woman- as a romantic interest. He just figured he was like one of his friends and what they call a “late bloomer” since he was always so caught up in his studies.

Connor shook the thought from his head as James deposited his bags with the others for the first class department. “I guess this is goodbye, my friend.”

“Aye. Afraid it is.” the man before him said, holding out his hand. “I hope we see each other again soon. It’s been a pleasure, Mr. McDavid.”

Connor shook his hand and smiled before going up to board the ship. He felt like a mite compared to the sheer size of it. He was starting to believe what he had heard from everyone around. Maybe it truly was unsinkable? He hoped he wouldn’t be one to find out.

“Keep your head up.” he told himself. “You never know what could come.”

 

-

 

“Noah, come on! This way!”

The taller of the two men huffed as he followed his speedy friend to the dock. “Jack, slow down! I’m coming! Why are you in such a rush? There’s time!”

“I’m making the most of it!” the young Bostonian man grinned as he hurried along, stopping finally to let his friend catch up as he gazed at the large black vessel before him.

“Noah, bud, have you ever seen something so… Incredible?”

His friend was panting behind him. “No. It’s… Damn.”

“Indeed.”

Jack had spent ages working on ships to help support his family in Boston. His father worked in a factory and his mother did laundry for the wealthy Bostonian families, something his family was not one of. His most recent and final job left him in London. His contract was up. With spare money he kept for himself, he and his friend Noah, another Bostonian in the same situation as him, decided to pool their money together in a bit of gambling. On the table that evening was even more money, maybe the amount they both make in a couple of months, and two tickets for third class on the RMS Titanic. The White Star’s newest crown jewel.

Jack couldn’t believe their luck when the cards in his hand were in their favor. They won. They won the tickets and the money. His blood ran hot through his veins as he took the tickets, handing one to his friend in the same state as himself and taking the money which they planned to divide.

He and Noah were going home on the Titanic.

He couldn’t wait to get home and tell his family how he’d gotten home. Maybe he’d even tell the story to his own children or his grandchildren. How he had been on the maiden voyage of the White Star’s own unsinkable boat. It was thrilling to him to say the least.

They took what little they had in their bags and boarded the ship. The officers eyes their tickets and then back at the two young men. They didn’t care that the boys looked alike or necessarily Scandinavian according to the last names on the tickets (How foolish those Sedin brothers were for letting their tickets go in gambling) so they just let them onboard the ship rather than ask questions. Jack looked up at the smoke stacks as they started billowing out their thick grey smoke. A warning for any stragglers behind to get onboard the ship. Jack just grinned and went down the hall with his friend.

“Hanny, we’re the luckiest sons of bitches in the world!”

“Eichs, this is... My God, it’s like we’re royalty.” Noah mumbled. “We might as well be rich.”

A few minutes later after finding their rooms and putting their stuff down, they find themselves running again, this time up a flight of stairs up to the deck to wave and shout goodbye to people they don’t know and a place they’ll likely never see again.

“Jack, who are we waving to?” Noah asked. “You know anyone out there, Eichs?”

“No! Of course not!” Jack grinned, waving and shouting goodbye to the masses of people on the dock as the boat began to sail off. “That’s not the point of this! It’s to be a part of everything!”

He turned back to the massive crowd of people below them. “Goodbye! Goodbye! I’ll miss you!”

Noah just grinned and decided to join in on the fun himself. “Alright then! Goodbye! I will never forget you! All of you! Goodbye!”

A short while later, the two men made it back to their cabin to find their other two occupants. A pair of blonde Swedes again. The tags on their bags read Hagelin and Hornqvist and they muttered to each other, almost a whisper, of guttural Swedish that neither boy understood. So instead, they just clamored into their bunks and rested.

 

-

 

The Empire Suite his parents set up for him was magnificent, to say the very least. It was so large! He could not understand how his parents thought he would use all of the things in the room. It was just him. He had no servants, no friends, nothing but himself and his bags. There were servants waiting on him, of course. There were servants for all of the first class passengers, but they had separate sections of the ship.

The suite was lovely. Beautiful art lined the walls, the lamps had lovely glass coverings, and there was a private deck for him to walk out onto. It was beautiful. He couldn’t wait to tell his family back home of it as well as his friends Samson and Dylan. It was all so beautiful. Like something from a lavish dream come to life.

He felt bad, though. He knew that the lower class cabins weren’t nearly as nice. Those people worked harder in a month than Connor will ever work in his life. He swore when he was younger that he would help make things better for the workers once he inherited his father’s shipping company. He’s kept that promise his whole life. He’d uphold the honor of the McDavid name.

Connor sighed and changed for bed. Twilight was upon him and the rest of the ship now. The whole world seemed silent apart from the sea and its freezing, salty waves crashing below them all. No music could be heard, no talking. Just the sea. He stepped outside once he’d finished with his bedclothes. He stood at the railing and took deep breaths, the scent of salt and fresh air filling his lungs to the brim. It was nothing like he’d felt before. It was so… Wonderful. Unlike anything in London or in Canada. He loved it and just thinking about Canada made him miss his homeland even more than he previously had. He was so close yet it felt like ages away. 

He missed his mother and father, he missed his brother, he missed his friends and his grandmother and even the young man who tended to the ice on the pond on his father’s estate when winter came.

Connor sighed to himself and looked up to the sky. So many stars were to be seen that night. Like diamonds against velvet of the deepest, darkest blue. He’d never seen it as blue until now. Always black before. Maybe it meant something.

He remained outside, putting pictures together in his mind using the stars and their black canvas above until he found himself dozing off where he stood. He decided it was time to retire for the night and went back into his suite, shutting the door behind him and going over to his bed, turning off his gas lamps before climbing into the soft silk sheets.

The last thought he had before closing his eyes that night was that tomorrow is another day.


	3. A Glimpse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When your world suddenly flips...

The next day, Jack found himself on the deck with Noah and a young man they had met. His name was Sam. He was Canadian and had managed to get left behind by the artist he was assisting in England. Lucky for him, his boss had forgotten some of his money behind along with Sam’s pay. He was heading home this way too.

He noticed Sam’s glare as a woman in a fur coat walked along the deck with her three little dogs. The black one was by far the ugliest thing Jack had ever seen as he looked up from his journal. Its nose was practically flat against its face.

“Typical.” Sam joked, obviously a bit ticked about something. “First class dogs come down here to take a shit while we try to live.”

“So we know and remember where we are in the grand scheme of things.” Jack replied, returning his focus to the book and pencil in his hands.

“Like we could forget.” Sam said, his voice lightly tainted with venom, still in a joking sort of manner.

Jack sighed and looked started to look back down to his journal until something caught his attention on the upper deck. He looked back up to see a young man in a suit, his coppery-blonde hair shone in the late afternoon sunlight. Soft lips and a pair of warm brown eyes decorated his face.

Jack couldn’t find it in him to look away.

The young man stared out into the horizon and the sea until his gaze wandered over and into Jack’s. Jack wondered if the fellow had done this on purpose as he looked away. He figured it likely was an accident or the man trying to tell him to stop by using his eyes. Until he looked his way again, staring into Jack’s eyes with a curious look even from their distance.

Noah and Sam took notice to this quickly.

“Jacky, boyo, hate to break this to you. But we can’t join them no matter how much we want to.” Sam prodded. “We’re not like them. Have almost no chance of being. Best not daydream so you don’t get your heart broken when the riches don’t come.”

Noah noticed he wasn’t listening and snapped his fingers in front of Jack’s face. “Jack? Jack? Eichs, come on and quit that. Snap out of it.”

The brown-eyed man left the deck and out of Jack’s range of view a couple seconds later. When he looked back at his friends, they were staring at him oddly.

“What?” he asked. “Something wrong?”

Sam just sighed and shook his head. “Not good to dwell on dreams, Jack.”

 

-

 

Connor hurried back up to his room after supper in a frantic. His head and chest ached and all he could think about was that young man on the lower deck. The one with the blonde curls under his cap and the shining blue eyes. The man with the strong jawline and the tall stance. The one who made his heart throb and his palms sweat with only a single look or two. That man and… And everything.

Not only was he thinking about this stranger of a man who plagued his mind for what has now been hours, but of everything. Moira, his future wedding, his father’s work, his family, his future family. His mother, his friends, his late blooming if he should ever bloom at all. Everything.

Connor paced around his room, breathing heavily and gripping at his hair. He felt weak. Like the room was losing its air and closing in on him. What on Earth was happening to him? He must be going crazy. What was this feeling? Madness? Insanity? He’d never felt it before and it was killing him.

His heart panged in his chest and Connor felt as though he was losing more of his mind by the second.

He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do it.

Mere moments later, he found himself running down the deck promenade of the boat, running to the back end of it and ignoring everyone in his way. A note was left on his vanitys’ table. Maybe someone would find it to take it to his mother and father once the boat reached New York.

He had to find a way out of this Hell.

What he didn’t notice, however, was the blond-haired man resting in a lounge chair nearby. One whose interest piqued once he saw the familiar form nearly running for his own life.


	4. Take My Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You would have done it already if you were completely sure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will do my best to update every day! This is still a work in progress fic, so please be patient! Don't forget to bookmark, leave a kudos, and/or comment! Thank you so much for reading!

Jack had been minding his own business on a lounge chair on the lower deck. Nothing more than a night out near the sea, gazing up at the stars and thinking of home. How he missed it.

However, those plans changed once he heard the rush of footsteps approach. He suddenly sat up and looked to the where the sound was coming from when he saw a figure rush up the stairs from the well deck below. As the figure ran past him, he recognized the coppery-blond hair shining in the moonlight.

The boy from earlier.

Jack grew concerned and followed him. The man didn’t even seem to notice he was being followed. Where was he going in such a hurry? His breathing sounded odd as well.

He followed him to the very back of the boat and stared as he gazed down into the black, churning water below. His heart was racing in his chest and nearly stopped with what the man did next.

The man carefully climbed up and over the railing of the ship, gazing down into the churning water below. It had to be at least a sixty foot jump from the gunwale he was perched upon and the frigid waves beneath him. The man was breathing heavily and his hands shook, eyes still locked on the churning water.

Jack couldn’t let him do this.

“Don’t do it.”

The man’s head whipped around to face him and Jack could clearly see the tracks of tears on his soft cheeks in the light, his beautiful brown eyes bloodshot from crying.

“S-Stay back!” he whimpered with a barely noticeable accent. “Don’t come any closer!”

Jack held out a hand. “Take my hand. I’ll pull you back in.”

“No!” he cried. “Stay where you are. I mean it! I’ll let go!”

“No you won’t.” Jack noted.

“What do you mean I won’t?” he snapped, voice still quivering. “Don’t tell me what I will and I will not do! You don’t know me!”

“You would have done it already if you were completely sure.” Jack assured. “Now, come on. Take my hand.”

The gent sniffled and nearly lost his footing as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve, causing Jack’s heart to stop again in his chest.

“Go away. Please. You’re distracting me.”

“Too late.” Jack said, taking his jacket off. “I’m involved now. If you let go, I have to go in after you.”

“Don’t be absurd.” he sniffled. “Y-you’ll be killed.”

“I’m a good swimmer” Jack retorted, unlacing one of his shoes. “I won’t drown.”

“The fall alone would kill you.”

“It would hurt.” Jack agreed. “I’m not saying it wouldn’t kill or seriously hurt me. To be honest, I’m a lot more concerned about the water being so cold.”

The man looked down into the depths again and Jack noticed his brows furrow, lips parting slightly. He hoped this meant he was beginning to change his mind on the ordeal at hand.

“How cold?”

“Freezing.” Jack replied, removing his unlaced show. “Maybe only a few degrees over. Have you ever been to Massachusetts?”

“N-no.” the man confirmed, sounding perplexed with the question.

“Well, they have some of the coldest winters in America. I grew up there kind of near Boston. My dad taught me how to ice skate and I used to play hockey with the neighborhood kids when the pond froze over. See, ice hockey’s when-”

“I know what ice hockey is!” the man answered. “I’m from Canada.”

That explains the accent. “Well, sorry. You just seem more like an indoors kind of guy, if you get what I’m trying to say. Anyways, I went through thin ice once. I’m tellin’ ya, water that cold, like that right down there?… It hits you like a thousand knives all over your body. You can’t breathe, you can’t think… at least not about anything but the pain.” Jack said, taking off his other shoe.

“Which is why I’m not looking forward to jumping in after you. However, like I said, I don’t really see a choice. I guess I’m kinda hoping you’ll come back over that rail and get me off the hook here.”

The young man stared at him still. “You’re crazy. You’re absolutely crazy..”

“That’s what everybody says.” he noted. “But with all due respect, I’m not the one hanging off the back of the ship about to jump.” He stepped closer carefully, holding his arm out to the frightened man before him.

“Come on. Please. You don’t want to do this.” he pleaded.

The young man stared at his hand before staring up into Jack’s eyes. Jack stared back and something within him seemed to flip. Like his eyes held the answers to everything he had ever wanted to know.

He carefully removed one of his hands from the railing and placed it into Jack’s. Jack took firm hold of it. “I’m Jack. Jack Eichel.”

“P-Pleased to meet you, Mr. Eichel.” he replied, voice quivering as he starts to turn to him. Now, he realized how foolish he was being and the initial fear of the sheer drop before him. One he almost took. While turning back to the boat and Jack, one of his feet slipped out from beneath him. Letting out a shriek, Jack gripped his hand and jerked him upwards.

“Help!” the gentleman cried out. “Please! Please, help me! Don't let go!”

“I’ve got you! I’ve got you! I won’t let go! I promise I won’t let go!” Jack assured as he tried to pull him up and over the rails. The man has no footing due to the smooth surface of the boat’s hull. The Bostonian braced himself and attempted to pull him up once more. This time, he came squirming and flailing over the railing and into Jack’s arms, knocking both onto the ground.

Jack tried to catch his breath and held the young man close he heard footsteps rapidly approaching the two of them. He looks and sees the quartermaster and a group of seamen rapidly approaching them. They pull the young, disheveled man off of Jack and restrain Jack.

“What’s all this!?” the quartermaster asked. He sounded beyond angry. “You! Stand back! And don’t move an inch! Hamilton! Fetch me the Master at Arms!”

The only thing Jack could do now was hold his breath.


	5. Something There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will do what I can to update frequently. Don't forget to bookmark, leave a kudos, and/or comment!

Connor was barely keeping it together as it was as the nurse attended to him, looking for any injuries on him. He looked across at the man- Jack- who was sitting in handcuffs while the Master at Arms interrogated them.

“What the hell was going on?” he asked, his voice demanding and borderline terrifying. “Why did you have your hands on him?”

“It was an accident!” Connor spoke up.

“An accident?”

Connor nodded a swift reply. “It was. It was an accident. It was… It was stupid, really. I leaned over and I slipped.” Connor looked over to Jack, locking eyes with him once more to try to tell him to go along with the lie.

“I leaned over too far. I wanted to see the propellers and I slipped. I would have gone overboard… Mr. Eichel here saved me and nearly went over himself, in fact.”

“Someone of your status and job potential hasn’t much need to look at propellers.” The master noted before he looked at Jack, stern gaze softening. “Is that true? Was that the way of it?”

Jack nodded, going with the plan and Connor’s pleading gaze. “Uh huh. Yes. That was pretty much it.”

The Master at Arms sighed. “I suppose that clears it then.”

Connor looked to Jack once more. “Perhaps I should reward you for what you did. You saved my life… Please. Join me for supper tomorrow evening.”

Jack’s eyes widened at the offer. “I… I… Sure. Count me in.”

The Master at Arms smiled and uncuffed Jack before leaving, leaving them be with the nurse who left as well just moments later after clearing Connor of injury. The two young men sat in silence for a moment before Connor shifts closer to Jack.

“Thank you.” He said, voice hoarse still. “Thank you for saving my life. I… I’m sorry, I… I don’t know what came over me.”

“Don’t thank me, sir.” he answered. “Besides. I feel like that’s a lie. You know why you nearly… Why you were on the ledge…. Connor, why were you on the ledge?”

Connor’s eyes immediately diverted to the floor. How does he answer this truthfully and not get put into a mental hospital? How he was on the verge of suicide because of… well, of everything. Including partially the man before him.

“It’s… nothing.”

“No.” Jack answered, obviously not buying the fib. “I know it’s something.You can trust me. I swear. I won’t tell a single soul what’s wrong unless it might mean you do it again and really do it this time.”

Connor looked around to make sure no one else was around before confessing to Jack. “It was because of everything. My father is all but setting up my marriage to a girl who, though I love her, I do not love her like I want her to be my wife. More like a friend or a sister. And he wants me to take over his company and to make the McDavid name proud and just… It’s all so so much. And there’s even more on top of all of that. I felt like I was going mad. Still somewhat do.”

Connor decidedly left the parts about Jack and such out so not to make him uncomfortable. But even now, his heart was doing that funny thing inside of his chest, beating faster and faster. And his hands were shaky, but he only thought it was from the high amounts of stress he had just endured. He looked over at Jack expecting to see his face blank. Maybe even a little disgusted since Jack obviously has worked harder and has more on him than Connor ever will. Instead, he is greeted with a pair of kind blue eyes and a sympathetic look.

“There’s no shame in fearing what could become, Connor.” he said. “Look, I don’t exactly understand where you’re coming from, but that’s okay, I guess. We’ll just have to talk more tomorrow over supper… Or perhaps not, actually.”

Connor furrowed his brows. “What do you mean perhaps not?”

Jack looked at his hands. “I um… I- I don’t have a suit. I’m not exactly rich or anything. If I show up there with my clothes I have on right now, I’ll probably be kicked out.”

“Oh.” Connor realized. “How about you come over to my room early? I have one that might fit you that you could borrow.”

Jack looked at him. “Seriously?”

Connor nodded. “Yes. And if something doesn’t fit quite right, you can wear yours. But I think a jacket and shirt with a tie and things shall fit you. It’s all adjustable and whatnot. You can wear it, if you’d like. I insist. I really want you to come tomorrow night.”

Jack seemed to ponder it for a minute before giving a smile in return. “Alright. Alright, I’ll go. Just give me your room number and I shall go to you… when?”

“At five o’clock.” he replied, trying to not sound too excited. “And you don’t really need a number. Just… Trust me. I’ll meet you on the deck first, or… Where can I find you?”

“Third class general room maybe, if not the deck.” the blonde man returned. “I think I should get going. My friend’ll be wondering where I am. I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night, Connor.”

Connor watched him leave and put his hand to his chest, attempting to feel his own heart seemingly beating out from his chest. His whole face felt warm and he felt as though he had just aced an exam. What on God’s Earth was going on with him?


	6. What Is This Feeling?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Connor's not the only one feeling strange.

“You did what?!” Noah gawked at him.

“I saved him, Noah.” Jack said, recalling the true version of the previous night to his friend. “I swear! Ask the quartermaster or the Master at Arms if you ever see them if you don’t believe me.”

“Jack, that is absolutely insane!” his friend retorted. “You could have died! You could have fallen!”

“Well, he could have too!” Jack answered. “I couldn’t just stand there and watch him die. I had to do something. Even if it meant putting myself at risk, too.”

“Jack, you must be crazy.” he said. “A good man, but absolutely mental. You saved his life.”

“I know.” he said. “And he invited me to dinner, Noah.”

“He invited you to dinner? Like… up there? With suits and crystal and wine? That stuff?”

Jack nodded. “Yeah. He’s going to help me not look so… so…”

“Third class?” his friend finished. “Poor? Lower than thou?”

“Yeah.” Jack sighed. “Noah, how do I impress him? He’s a man who has everything he could possibly want. I want to make a good formal impression.”

Noah gave him an odd look. “Impress him? You want to impress him? Jack, he’s not a gal or nothing and this isn’t some kind of date.”

The odd thing is… Jack almost wanted it to be a date. Did he want it to be a date? Was it? But… Nevermind. Why would Connor go for him anyways? He’s rich, Jack’s poor. First class versus lower class. And girls date boys… That’s how it works right? Boys can’t love boys… Right? That’s not something that was done or talked about. Taboo. Not talked of. Not right… Right?

Jack shrugged the thoughts off. “Well, still. I want to be a good dinner partner, I suppose. Don’t want to save his life then bore him to death. Got anything?”

Noah sighed. “Just… Be yourself, but not too much, I guess? I don’t know. Be honest about yourself. If he’s as nice as you say he is, he’ll listen even if you’d put everyone else to sleep.”

Jack just groaned in response and slumped back into his bunk.

Later on, he found himself in the general room for third class patrons. He was busy trying to find a subject for a poem he wished to write. It was a hobby of his and a way he made extra cash on the side of working the ships. Writing poems for people to send to loved ones. Easy enough. His father taught him how to read using signs, the newspaper, and poems, in fact. 

Noah was trying, and failing one might add, to score a date with a woman from Italy. She said her name was Maria and she was from a small town outside of Milan. She bought the ticket to go join her sister in America in New York. Her English was poor at best, but she was trying.

All of a sudden, Jack felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked up to see Noah, his eyes glued to the doorway. He noticed the music had died down and that everyone in the room was staring and whispering amongst themselves. Jack looked himself to see none other than Connor standing in the spot, dressed sharply in a suit with his hair well done. Still almost glowing even in dim light.

“Jack?” he asked. “Jack, that is you, right? I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything.”

“No, no, you’re fine, I…” Jack assured. “I’m here. Just as I said I would be, yeah?”

“Oh. Good.” the young man replied. “Come on. We have to get going now.”

Jack got up, bringing his journal and pencil with him to follow Connor. He looked back at Noah who was simply watching him. He gave a nod and turned back to Maria, still attempting to chat her up. Jack took this as a sign to just keep calm and go with it.

“Uh yes. Of course. After you.”


	7. High Above

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Jack seem to get to know each other a bit better.

He followed Connor up and up the ship to areas he knew were on the ship, but weren’t allowed for him to see or be in since he was only a 3rd class passenger. Lounges, upper decks, the like. Things he wasn’t supposed to see. And these were just on the way up to his room!

“So...you got a name, by the way? A big shot like you probably has a nice one.”

“It’s Connor.” he said. “Connor Evan James McDavid.”

“Quite the moniker you got there.” Jack stated. “I might have to write that down.”

It got quiet again after that. In an attempt to break the awkward silence between them, Jack decided small talk was a good decision to keep things friendly between them.

“Do you go in the general room up here?” he asked. “Socialize? Talk about estates? The like?”

“No.” Connor replied. “I’m not much for a lot of people really. And I just keep to myself, really… I didn’t have any friends at school nor really when I was little. Only a couple of children who were the children of my father’s business partners. Samson and Dylan. That’s… that’s it, though. Sorry if I bored you. I know it’s not very exciting despite me being who I am.”

“Not at all. I understand. I’m not much for people either.”

Connor smiled and stopped at a large lone door and pulled out a key. 

“This is it.” he smiled, unlocking the room and opening it up. “Go inside. Get situated, alright?”

Jack nodded and went inside. Connor’s room was unlike anything he’d ever seen. The walls lit with ornate lamps and covered in beautiful wallpaper were lined with paintings, many he’d never even seen. Not even in Paris. The floors were plush and carpeted with orangey-pink. The furniture was all a dark colored, polished, carved wood. It was like something from a palace.

“This is your room?”

Connor nodded. “Yes. the Empire Suite. I don’t know what my parents were thinking. Yes, we have the money, but still. This is excessive for just me alone.”

“I’ve never seen anything like it.” Jack gushed. “It’s wonderful. I’m completely blown away by it all.”

“You are?”

Jack nodded. “Yeah. Sorry, I just-”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry. I suppose I am used to it by now. All of the luxury and such. I’ve never seen anyone react like that. It was… It was nice. Different. I feel like if my mother or father came in, they’d probably critique anything and everything.”

Jack smiled and looked around at the paintings. Never in his life had he seen anything, nevermind a whole room, so exquisite. The paintings, the furniture, even the wallpaper made him feel out of place. “And this is normal to you? If I were in your shoes, I don’t think I would ever get used to this.”

Jack looked over to Connor who was staring at him in almost childlike awe. “Well?”

Jack stared at him. “Well what?”

“Don’t we have to get dressed?” Oh. Right.

“Right.” Jack said. “We have to do that. Lead the way, Mr. McDavid.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Connor said. “Just call me Connor. No need for any formalities, Jack. It’s alright.”

Jack smiled and followed Connor to another room of the suite where there was a large four-poster bed and more furniture and paintings as well as a wardrobe. Connor instructed Jack to stand close to the wardrobe as he took out some clothes. A suit jacket, a white dress shirt, a pair of black dress pants, and all the other fittings that Jack saw the dapper people wearing in the papers and on the upper decks of the ship.

“I can go, if you want.” Connor said. “But you have to try these on and see if anything fits. If not, we’ll just try to adjust it here to the best we can, okay?”

Jack nodded and smiled. “Sounds fine to me. You can stay. It’s not a problem to me. I swear.”

Connor nodded and handed him some of the clothes to try on, placing the others on a chair and holding the ones he had chosen for himself in his arms as he sat on the bed, trying not to stare.

“So,” Jack said, taking off his suspenders and shirt and starting to undo his trousers, “What’s it like up here?”

“It’s nice.” Connor replied. “Lots of luxury and such. I don’t really do much, however. I just read mostly. And go out on the balcony to look out at the sea. It’s calming to me, for the most part.”

Jack smiled. “Read what? Philosophers? Books on stocks? Morals?”

“The Lost World, actually. By Arthur Doyle.” Connor piped. “I had just finished The Secret Garden yesterday, as well.”

Jack felt red-hot embarrassment rise up into his cheeks. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to assume that you would-”

“Oh no no! It’s alright. I promise.” he said. “Most of my colleagues are reading what you mentioned. However, I just prefer to read what sounds interesting to me. It’s not a big deal, really.”

Jack was still red as he tried on the clothes. The pants were just about right, but the shirt and jacket were a bit tight. Everything else seemed fine, however. Connor went and helped him adjust a couple of buttons inside of the jacket which made it easier for him to wear and did not tighten the bowtie too much. It was still a tad tight, but it was definitely manageable for the evening. Jack then went to the bathroom to fix his hair and make himself look more presentable.

“Connor, do you have any spare combs?”

“You can use mine.” Connor called back from his room. “It’ll be alright. I’m alright with it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. Go right on ahead. They’re in the kit right in there.”

Jack blushed and picked up one of the fine-toothed metal combs from the kit’s and started combing through his short blond curls. He hissed a bit every now and then when he hit a large snag, but overall it wasn’t too bad. He finished a few minutes later and noticed a small-ish pot inside the bag as well. He opened it to reveal a kind of gross-looking goop.

“Connor? What is this stuff?” he queried. “It’s in this little glass pot in here. Some kind of slime?”

“Oh that? That’s hair product. It’s new, kind of. A new brand of product that a friend told me about. It makes one’s hair easier to style and smooth.”

“Oh?” Jack asked, peering into the small jar to indeed find a jelly-like product. The smell was… odd to say the least. As odd as the look of the stuff itself to say the very least.

“You can use some, if you want. Don’t use a lot, though. It makes your hair look greasy if you do and a little can go a long way indeed.” he heard. “If you wish to try it, by all means, be my guest.”

Jack stared into the little pot and coated the tips of a few of his fingers in the stuff. “Maybe just a little to try it out.”

He set the pot down and rubbed his fingers together before running his hand and fingers through his hair. Sure enough, it did control his hair a bit more. Made his curls look more like curls rather than blonde fluff on the top of his head and stay nice in place. The little amount he used didn’t make his hair look greasy either. He actually thought it looked rather nice.

Jack adjusted his bowtie and quietly left the bathroom and Connor’s room to go wait out for him while he finished up. He sat down carefully in one of the chairs and picked up a newspaper off the table. He began to read the headlines from merely a couple days ago. Politics, the ship, stocks, et cetera. So many things going on in the world and yet so little time to read about them before something else happened to overshadow it.

It felt like only a few minutes had passed when Jack heard a throat clear from the doorway. He quickly put the paper down and looked over to see-

Oh.

Connor stood there dressed in his evening suit. Hair perfectly styled and combed, his eyes shining and curious, and his lips pursed as if he were studying something. His suit fit perfectly on him, every stitch and seam and hem of his suit managing to make him look even more dapper than any prince in a picture he had seen. He looked… He looked beautiful.

His chest felt funny again, his heart beating at a quicker rate than average for reasons he didn’t understand. and his face and head as well, but he just couldn’t stop staring.

“Jack?” he asked. “Jack, are you ready?”

Jack snapped free from his haze and nodded. “Yes. I’m ready to go. We shouldn’t be late, after all. It’s rude. And you look… You look great.”

Connor blushed before grabbing a key from the table and heading to the door and letting them both out. “Thank you. That’s kind of you to say… Here. Follow me and we’ll be there in no time.”

Jack just nodded and went along with it. He didn’t know his way around this area of the boat anyways so what was the use of trying to pretend he did?


	8. An Evening's Supper

Connor couldn’t help but notice Jack’s eyes and how they wandered around the upper decks of the ship. His eyes held a look he’d seen on many children in toy stores or candy stores. A look of pure wonder. The upper floors were forbidden to lower class passengers unless they were in the company of someone who was a first class passenger or a crewman. And Jack, being of the lowest class, had never seen anything like this before. So, Connor had no right to blame him.

“So, what does your pop do?” he heard Jack pipe up. “You guys obviously have a lot of money, but it has to be made somehow, right? Unless that’s a secret I can’t know about.”

“The Canadian Railroad, stocks and investments, as well as steel.” Connor answered. “He does a lot of business with steel. He’s no Carnegie, though, but that’s fine We still definitely make more than enough…. What about your father?”

“Ah,” Jack noted, “my pop’s a factory worker. Definitely not as glamorous as your pa, but I’m still proud of him and he works hard. My ma’s a laundry woman. She washes clothes for the wealthy people of Boston. She gets paid pretty well for a job like that, actually”

Connor nodded. “I bet they do. Most people such as your father and your mother as well will work harder in a month than I likely will in my entire life. And yet we on the upper part of things get paid so much more. I never understood that. It’s just how things go for some reason.”

Jack smiled. “You know, maybe if dinner finishes early, or if you decide you’ve had enough, I’ll show you how the rest of us have some fun. It might not have champagne and caviar, but it’s fun.”

Connor thought about it. Visiting the lower decks, the lower class passengers onboard the ship. Most would probably end up hating him. It was no secret that the upper class wasn’t particularly favorable with the lower class, but for Jack, he was willing to risk it. And he wanted to see what life was like down there for them anyways. Who knows? Maybe it would be fun.

“Sure.” Connor replied after a minute. “I’d love to go. However, we’ll have to see. If not, maybe some other night. Tomorrow, perhaps. But yes, I would love to join you on the lower decks.”

Jack looked surprised. “You would?”

“Yes. I would.” Connor assured, a grin seeping to his face. “And for the record, I hate caviar.”

Connor saw red spread to Jack’s cheeks as well as a grin before he and Connor ended up at the entrance of the first class dining hall. “This is it. Just wait here and someone will attend to us.”

He and Jack were seated at a small round table in a moment’s notice. Jack kept looking around at the other diners and the walls and even the lights above them. It was rather extravagant and lovely.

“Do you like it in here too?”

Jack nodded. “Yeah. It reminds me of all those fancy places I saw in Paris.”

Connor smiled. “Paris? You’ve been to Paris?”

Jack grinned. “Yeah. Working on the ships sometimes took us inland too. I was in Paris for a few weeks. My French is still terrible, though. Please do not ask me to speak French.”

The statement made Connor laugh a bit. “That’s quite alright. I won’t ask. Don’t worry.”

They continued talking throughout the dinner. Scattered topics everywhere from books to what home is like and even personal stories from childhood. Before either of them knew it, they had finished dessert and left the dining room to walk along the deck of the ship.

Connor was charmed by Jack, it felt. He was sweet, he was kind, he was wonderful and had been quite the dinner partner. Maybe even one of the best he’s been with. He wasn’t like anyone he had met or dined with before. Not even when he was in Canada. As they walked along the hallway back to the room, Connor found himself laughing at a joke Jack had told him, walking in sync with the blonde the whole way. He felt sad, though. He almost didn’t want this to end. When they got back, he realized that he indeed wanted more time.

“Jack?”

“Yes?”

“Would you like to spend time with me again tomorrow?”

He saw Jack smile. “I’d enjoy that. Yes, but only if you keep your to join me and the others like how I did with you earlier. Time to show you how we have our fun.”

Connor smiled back. “A McDavid always keeps their promises. So, I intend to keep this one.”

“Great.” Jack noted, picking his book up. “I should be on my way. It’s getting late again and Noah will get bored waiting. Goodnight, Connor. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Jack.” He replied, watching his new friend leave for the night before undressing himself and crawling into bed and falling into a deep sleep for the night.


	9. Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack is not weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Everyone! Sorry this was so late! I've been so busy with school and with my imagines blog on tumblr as well as the other fics I write. Thank you so much for understanding. I hope this was worth the wait. Thank you for your support! Don't forget to leave a kudos, comment, and bookmark! I love you!

The next day, Jack met Connor on the deck early in the morning after breakfast. Jack was dressed in his normal button shirt and trousers with his suspenders and cap while Connor was in his own day wear. They ended up going back to Connor’s room and relaxing on the deck before starting a game of “What if?”. A game Jack and Noah had played when the days at sea or at port were boring and long. Connor had never played it before, but Jack kind of liked that. It gave the game a new air of fun.

“What if you were… an animal?” Connor asked. “What one would you want to be? Why?”

Jack thought about that for a bit. “An animal?”

He nodded. “Yes. An animal. Like cats, dogs, whales, birds. Even bugs. I would count a bug.”

“Hm…. Are there any limits to this? Sea animal only? Land animal only? Bird?”

Connor shook his head and smiled. “No. None at all. Any animal you think would be best and the reason why.”

Jack smiled. “Okay… Then I’d be a terrier.”

Connor laughed. “A terrier? You mean like one of those little dogs?”

“Yeah.” he grinned. “A terrier. And a Boston one at that. A Boston Terrier named Jack”

Connor regained himself. “Oh really? And why is that?”

Jack shrugged. “Who doesn’t like dogs? And they’re Bostonian like I myself am. So, why not? Lord only knows they get treated better on this ship than third class passengers do, too.”

“Sorry about that last one. But I suppose I can see it.” his new friend replied “You’d make a good dog, but I for one prefer you as the human you are by all means. Humans are better company to talk to. Well, more you in general.”

Jack grinned and felt his face get warm, shrugging that off. “I guess so. It depends, mostly. My turn now. Okay… So… If you weren’t doing this… What would you be doing? Like, if you weren’t supposed to be some businessman, what would you do?”

Connor’s brows furrowed. “What would I do?... I’ve… I’ve never thought about that before.”

Jack felt bad about that. “Well, think of anything at all. What do you find fun and entertaining?”

Connor thought about it for a bit. Jack watched his face as he pondered and felt even worse. Had he really never thought about another profession? Is this what it was like to be a rich man’s son? To just be told what you were going to do and the ways of the profession for your whole life without even another chance at something else?

“I… I actually don’t think I know what I’d do… Maybe I’d be a teacher. One of the nice ones. I love children.”

Jack smiled. “God above only knows how many more nice ones we need. I mean that. I had a few wretched ones as teachers. To this day, I wonder what on Earth made them want to be teachers since it seemed to be that they hated children.”

Connor smiled back. “I’ve had some like that, too. I had this one really nice one though. A kind woman from Quebec. Her name was Mademoiselle Renault. She was my French tutor when I was twelve. She ended up falling in love with a man in the city while she was with us and stayed. She’s Madame Wilson now and still so nice.”

“That’s good to hear.” Jack mentioned before opening up his book again. The same poetry one he always carried around.

“What’s that?”

Jack looked up to see Connor looking curiously at the small book in his hands. “Is it a prayer book? Or a small one with stories? I keep seeing you write in it.”

“It’s… it’s my book.” Jack says. “I write poems in it.”

Connor blushed. “Poetry? You write poetry?”

Jack nodded. “Yes. I write poetry. Why?”

“Oh.” he said “I just never really… May I see?”

Jack thought for a sec before handing it over to him. Connor opened up and scanned over one of the pages before turning to the next. And then the next. And another after that.

“I’m sure your girl is lucky. You’re very talented, Jack.” he spoke up. “You must’ve written her a lot of poems. She probably keeps every one.”

Jack felt his cheeks heat again. “Actually, I… I don’t have a girl. It’s just a hobby for me. I write for pleasure, mostly, but back when I worked on the ships, some of the men asked me to write one for them to send home to their sweethearts or wives. Even poems for their daughters’ or mothers’ birthdays and such. They paid good for a good poem. I’m just glad it made people happy.”

Connor blushed and smiled until the wind blew, sending loose papers in the journal flying. “Jack!”

Jack frantically grabbed at some of the papers, but still a few of them flew away, too quick for his hands. He stared at the ones in his hands.

“Oh goodness, Jack! I’m so so sorry!” he cried. “I-it was an accident! I’m so sorry! Your poems!”

“Connor, don’t worry.” He assured. “The loose ones are ones I lost passion for. Not finished ones or just ones I thought were bad. I tear those ones out. Nothing good was lost. I assure you that.”

Connor calmed down significantly, but still seemed a bit on edge. “Are you sure?”

Jack nodded and smiled. “I’m sure. I promise. You’re perfectly alright, Connor.”

Connor smiled back and handed the book back to Jack. “Thank you for letting me read. I really did like them. The poems. You should do those professionally.”

Jack shrugged. “I’m third class. People rarely look at us unless to shine their shoes or wash their laundry. If I could, I would. I really would.”

He looked up to see Connor’s eyes fixated on him, bright and wondrous. Jack smiled.

“My turn.” Connor chimed.

The two continued talking and playing small talking games until the late afternoon, moving inside once it got too hot. Jack felt more than at ease with Connor. He felt like he was safe, but breaking some kind of rule. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he liked it. He liked it a lot more than he should have, probably.

Jack checked the clock and got up from his chair. “I should go again. I want to check in on Noah and get ready. You are still coming with me, right?”

Connor nodded and smiled. “I am. I made my promise, didn’t I?”

Jack grinned. “That you did.”

“Okay.” he said. “What time do the festivities start?”

“Often at around 5:30 or 6.” he chimed. “I’ll come and get you at around 5:15, if that’s alright. Gives us a bit less than two hours. That sound alright with you?”

Connor smiled and nodded. “It sounds perfect. Thank you. What should I wear?”

“Honestly, what you’re wearing now is fine. The shirt and suspenders and all. You look great.”

Connor’s cheeks flushed a bit again and he nodded. “Alright. If you insist.”

“I do.” he said, smiling. “I’ll be back for you soon. Goodbye Connor.”

“Goodbye Jack. I’ll see you soon.”

Jack smiled and left the suite, making his trek back down to the lower decks and whistling as he went along. Tonight might not be so bad. He was actually rather excited. He stared down at the poem book in his hands and thought to himself, getting a new idea to write.

Noah gave him a look as he came back to the room to see his friend writing on his bunk.

Jack rolled his eyes. “What?”

“You’re spending a lot of time with that rich kid, Jacky.” he said. “It’s really strange.”

Jack shrugged. “He’s a great guy, Noah. He’s not like the other rich kids we’ve seen. He’s nice and he knows what’s wrong and stuff. He’s wonderful.”

Noah gave him another look before heading to his bed under Jack’s and started reading his own book to occupy himself again.

Jack sighed and kept writing his poem. He wasn’t being strange. He’d prove it. Connor was his friend that he’d just grown close to. One who he liked to be with and talk to. It wasn’t strange at all. It wasn’t strange that his heart got funny or his cheeks flushed or that he maybe felt like he wanted to hold his hand once or twice today, in the back of his mind. Especially if it felt like it would be good.

It felt normal.


	10. A Real Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack Eichel keeps his promise and shows Connor what a real party looks like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, I can't explain why this took so long. Writer's block up the ass and I have a really busy imagines blog ok? I also have a lot of testing soon and I hope get my license next month.
> 
> Note: The next chapter's going to involve some porn. Just saying. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as I worked ridiculously hard on it.
> 
> Don't forget to leave a kudos, comment, and bookmark if you liked it! You guys make this worth it! Happy reading!

Connor bit his lip and fixed his shirt, looking at the clock. Jack should be here any minute and his heart raced. Was his hair alright? Was his attire correct? Not too formal and not too casual. Just enough. At least enough for the night. He didn’t want to embarrass Jack. He liked Jack and this was just as important to him as it was to Connor.

“Just keep calm, McDavid.” he told himself, gazing into his own eyes in his reflection of the mirror. “You can do this and do it right. Have confidence in yourself.”

He heard a knock on the door and immediately went over and answered to see Jack standing there, leaning against the wall on his elbow with a smirk on his face, dressed in the same attire from earlier with the sleeves of his button down shirt rolled up to his elbows. “Hi there.”

“H-Hi.” Connor managed out. “Uh, is it time?”

Jack gave a nod. “Yeah. Ready for your first real taste of fun?”

Connor’s cheeks felt hot again. “Lead the way, Mr. Eichel.”

Jack grinned and took Connor by the arm, tugging him along the corridor. Connor smiled in earnest, feeling like it was his turn to be in Jack’s shoes. It was, though. He’d never experienced what Jack had been living all his life like how Jack had never experienced what Connor had been living his whole life. It was a return of the favor in experience, if it was anything at all.

They went down and down to the lower decks of the ship, past areas Connor had never seen before. He was pretty sure his parents would never allow him to do this if they were on board with him. However, they weren’t on the ship and he was alone. So who could stop him but himself? No one. Exactly.

Jack stopped him at a floor that was God-only-knew how far beneath the upper decks and led him down the hall to a room. Connor could hear music- something almost Irish, if he could pinpoint it himself- playing all the way down the hall and people clapping in time with the song. He looked in to see a crowd of people of all ages, both men and women, enjoying themselves to the music. They seemed to be having a good time.

Jack grinned. “Well, go on in. Come on. We’re just in time.”

Connor simply nodded and followed him into the room and the small crowd and over to a table where a man sat. He looked up and grinned. “Jack, man, there you are!”

“Sorry I’m a tad late, Noah.” he replied before turning to Connor to introduce him. “Connor, this is my friend, Mr. Noah Hanifin. Noah, this is Connor. I said I would be bringing him tonight to show him what a real party is.”

Noah looked up and down on Connor almost as if he were searching him for some kind of weapon before giving a small smile and holding out his hand. “Pleased to meet you, Mr. McDavid. Call me Noah.”

Connor smiled and shook his hand. “No need for pleasantries, Noah. Just call me Connor. It’s perfectly okay with me.”

Noah smiled and turned back to the music. Jack offered Connor a seat which he happily took and Jack joined him in the one next to him. “So, this is what you do?

Jack nodded, eyes focused on the band. “Yep. Often times, people will dance, too. But that’ll come in a little bit. The night just started, after all.”

Connor nodded and listened to the music playing, looking around at the different patrons. As the evening progressed, the songs got higher in tempo and people began going out in pairs and groups to dance along. It wasn’t any sort of formal dancing, but… fun dancing. Spinning, laughing, kicking up your heels and the like.

Connor, at the moment, had his eyes focused on Jack who was busy dancing with a little girl. She barely reached to his hip and her lacy skirt twirled with her as she danced, her grin bright on her face. Jack seemed to be having just as much fun, spinning her around and the like, grin as bright as hers. Connor just couldn’t look away. Jack and kids. Jack.

Jack.

Connor bit his lip and looked to the pint glass of ale in his hands as the music stopped. Jack bowed to his petite partner before she skipped away to her parents and looked back at the table, meeting Connor’s eyes.

“Connor, come on. Come dance with me.”

Connor’s eyes widened as he thought it over, putting the glass down. “I… I don’t know. I’m not much of a dancer. I don’t know how to dance like you do.”

Jack shrugged and took his arm. “That’s alright. Neither do I. Just go with it and follow me and you’ll be okay.”

Before he had time to open his mouth in protest, Connor was dragged onto the dancing floor. Jack took him by the elbow and into the full force of it. It was almost like some kind of jig, dancing amongst a crowd of strangers. His body was pressed against Jack’s as they moved and shuffled to the music, his cheeks flushed and red due to the excitement and rush. He couldn’t help but laugh a bit. He looked at Jack who had a look in his eyes. Something almost... fond. Connor looked back down to his feet before getting spun around, causing him to grin.

Connor saw Jack look up to the small stage where he saw Noah and Maria dancing and Connor felt himself get pulled to it. “Jack, wait!”

“Just relax!” he assured. “I got this! Just trust me!” He then linked their elbows together and began to follow Noah and Maria’s steps as they danced. Connor believed himself to be in Maria’s place so he followed Jack, letting him lead since he actually seemed to know what he was doing. They twisted around in circles and Connor’s cheeks were beginning to hurt from all the smiling. In all honesty, this was some of the happiest he thought he’d ever felt. Not having a single care in the world and living then.

The song ended a short while later and Connor caught his breath.

“Jack,” he panted, “that was some of the most fun I’ve had. Ever.”

Jack grinned and took a drink from a pint. “Oh yeah? You wanna do it again?”

Connor smirked and took the pint from his hand, taking a long sip, letting the ale ease his thirst before putting it back down. “Why not?”

Jack looked a little surprised, but Connor was glad that he didn’t let that stop him from taking his arm and hauling him back out to the dancing floor.

They danced and they danced all night until the music stopped. Connor’s feet ached and his forehead glistened a bit with sweat, but he didn’t care. He felt happy and giddy as he and Jack made their way back up to his room.

“I didn’t know you could dance!” Jack grinned. “Really, I didn’t. I thought you said you can’t!”

“I can’t! I just went with it!” he confessed. “If anything, I have you to thank for it.”

Jack stopped in the middle of the hallway and Connor smiled as he turned to face him. “Hi.”

“Hi.” he smiled. “Did you really enjoy tonight?”

Connor nodded and stepped closer. “I did. I mean that.”

“I’m glad.” Jack propped himself against the wall again, leaning on his outstretched arm and gazing down at Connor who was maybe an inch or two shorter. “I really am, Connor.”

Connor realized how close they were and blushed. He looked up at Jack and to his lips before catching himself and staring down at his feet to avoid Jack’s gaze. “I uh… Jack?”

“Yes?”

“Do… Do you want to come inside for a bit to rest?” Connor asked. “I bet you’re tired and all after dancing like that for so long and I just… Um…”

Jack nodded. “Yeah. Sure. I’d like that.”


	11. I Should Tell You...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I kinda lied. Porn not until the next chapter. I wanted this to lead up to that and realized I wanted Connor's perspective for when they do it and not Jack's. I hope you guys are fine with that. Thank you so much for your patience and time and support. Happy reading! Don't forget to comment, leave a kudos, and bookmark!

Jack followed Connor into his suite and sat down in one of the arm chairs right next to him with only a small table separating them. What was going on back there in the hall? Was Connor alright? Was he feeling sick?

Jack looked to Connor who had his hands in his lap and was staring at them almost like he was intentionally avoiding looking at Jack. Jack could make it out that Connor’s soft cheeks were rosy and he was worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. Something was wrong and it made Jack’s heart sink. Did he do something to upset him back at the dance?

“Connor? Are you alright?” he asked. “You look worried. Are you feeling okay?”

Connor looked up at him, lip now redder and plump, but free from his teeth and his cheeks rosy. Jack felt his own cheeks redden and looked at his hands. “I-I mean… You just seem… Are you okay?”

Connor looked away. “I… I suppose. It’s nothing, Jack. I’m just… I’m probably tired from the dancing. That’s all.”

Jack knew that was a lie. “Connor, if you’re not feeling alright, tell me. I’m… I’m worried about you.”

Connor looked up at him. “I… I just don’t know. Jack I-...”

“You what? Connor, whatever it is, you can tell me. I promise.” he said. “I mean it. I won’t tell a soul. Please?”

“I… I don’t even know anymore.” Connor groaned. “I just thought I was a late, but then I just… And you with your sleeves and your poems and you with children and your stupid smirk and eyes, it’s… Jack, I… I think I… I think I might be in love with you. And it terrifies me.”

Jack’s eyes widened. Did Connor just really say that? He loves him? Connor’s in love with him. And Jack is… Jack is…

Oh.

It started to make sense now. Everything. The feeling in his chest, the red cheeks, how he felt like he’d known Connor forever and could talk to him for ages and not get bored. He loved him too.

Jack sighed. “Connor, look at me. Please. I need you to look at me and calm down.”

Connor sniffled and shook his head. “I can’t, Jack. I can’t. I- I don’t…”

Jack reached across the space with his hands and eased Connor’s hands from tugging on his hair in panic and placed them down between them, holding on still. “Connor. Look at me. Please. I need you to do this for me.”

Connor slowly and shakily lifted his head and Jack could see his cheeks lined with tear stains and eyes wet and filled with sorrow and fear. Jack’s heart broke at the sight.

“I’m sorry.” he sniffled. “I-I’m so sorry. Please don’t tell anyone. I-I’m so so sorry.”

“Connor, I won’t. I promise, I… I wouldn’t ever do that to you.” Jack said. “And don’t say you’re sorry. If you are sorry, then so am I. I’m also partially at fault here…. I feel like I am with you. Like I have feelings for you too… Connor, I think I love you too.”

Connor looked at him, eyes wide and searching, almost as if he was expecting Jack to start laughing. But Jack watched his face grow shocked. “Connor, I mean what I say. Do you not believe me?”

“I… I…” he stammered. “But men are supposed to… What of women then? And marriage and babies and families?”

“Well, it isn’t spoken of nor really accepted. A taboo of sorts…” Jack shrugged, still holding Connor’s wrists softly in his hands. “But some people enjoy taboo. And maybe someday it won’t be a taboo anymore if enough people do it and set example. We can be some of the first.”

“But people wouldn’t… What about the difference then? The classes. You and me. And with all of this, what would happen? Jack, it wouldn’t work. Even if we wanted it to.”

“Well, we’ll have to fight it then.” he sighed. “Connor, the point is that… Do you love me?”

Connor thought for a second and nodded slightly. “Yes. Yes, Jack, I do. I love you.”

“Then we’ll make it work. Even if we have to hide. Connor, I want this with you. I love you.”

Jack watched the copper headed man as he blushed and stared at Jack’s lips for an off second before back up into his eyes, his own sky blue meeting the softest of tawny in Connor’s.

“I want you to prove it to me. Kiss me.”


	12. Love Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter is NSFW as it does mention sex and contain sexual themes and the act itself. Just a heads up!
> 
> And note: This is my first time writing porn so I hope I did it okay. I'm not the best writer in the world by any means. I just hope I do some things justice and make this what you guys expected. Here you go!
> 
> Don't forget to leave a kudos, bookmark, and comment!

Connor stared at Jack, almost expecting to hear a no. He must have been too forward. Damn it all, he wanted to try to be good at all of this. Do what lovers are supposed to do. Lovers kiss. Don’t they?

Connor blushed. “I’m sorry. I’m very sorry. I just thought… Never mind. I’m sorry-”

“Have you ever kissed anyone before?” Jack asked. “Have you? I’m not asking to be rude. I’m just curious.”

Connor looked towards him and shook his head. “No. Never. Only my mother on the cheek and women’s hands at gatherings to be polite like how my father does.”

“Oh.” Jack said. “So this is your first kiss?”

Connor nodded. “Sorry. Does it bother you-”

Jack shook his head. “No. Not at all… Do you-”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Jack nodded and leaned in, pressing his lips gently to Connor’s.

Connor turned red. So this is what a kiss was like. Warm, gentle, and intimate. It felt better than he thought it would be. Jack’s lips were slightly chapped against his own and he slid his wrists out of Jack’s hands, replacing them with his own and holding them. His hands were firm and strong, dotted with a few callouses here and there on his palms, rough against the soft skin of Connor’s hands.

Jack pulled back a minute later, Connor trailing after, craving more. He needed more. He opened his eyes and looked up to his now lover’s eyes. Jack stared at him, eyes sparkling and soft in the lamp light.

“You okay?”

Connor nodded and heard himself make a small noise. Something almost like a whimper. “M-More.”

Before he knew it, Jack’s lips were on his again, this time more fervent and needy. It felt amazing. Connor pulled his hands from Jack’s and wrapped them around his neck, pulling him closer. Jack placed his hands on Connor’s waist and did the same. When they pulled away this time, Jack’s eyes were dark and he stared at Connor with intent. Connor felt himself go red and his blood ran hot. He had no idea what was going on.

“Jack…”

Jack scanned Connor up and down with his eyes and worried at his bottom lip between his teeth. “Do you… Have you ever…with anyone?”

Connor was confused for a second until he finally got what Jack was hinting at. He felt his face grow hotter and shook his head. “No. I’ve never done anything like that before… But I want to.”

“You want to?”

Connor nodded. “I do. I want to and I want to with you. You’re supposed to do it with the one you love, correct? And I love you.”

Jack nodded. “You are. And I love you too. Come on. Your bed is a better place for this than here. Much softer and more room. Warmer too.”

Connor nodded, got up quickly, and took off his shoes before going over to the bed and sitting on the duvet. Jack did the same and sat pressed up next to him. Connor thought about nothing in that moment but how much he wanted and craved more. More touch, more kisses, more Jack. And he could tell by the look in his partner’s eyes that he felt the same way.

Jack kissed him again and pulled him close, almost into his lap. He felt small compared to Jack and he wasn’t sure why, but he kind of liked it. Connor shifted over to put himself fully into Jack’s lap and continued to kiss him until he pulled away again.

This time, Jack started to take off his suspenders from where they were on his shoulders and then started to undo his shirt. Connor blushed and did the same, getting off of Jack’s lap in order to give him more room. He tried not to stare as well, keeping his eyes to himself in order to try not to make things awkward between them.

He stripped off his shirt and hesitated at the belt before getting the nerve to undo it and take if off as well before leaning down to take off his stockings with their garter belts. He felt a pair of eyes on him as he did and looked to see Jack shirtless and flushed. His arms were strong-looking and his gaze glossed over with lust. Connor removed the garments and flushed red as he undid his pants and left himself in his undergarments.

“Connor, do you want this?”

Connor nodded in response to Jack. “Yes. I assure you, I want this.”

Jack nodded and gently pushed Connor down onto the bed, crawling on top of him. Connor blushed and stared up at his lover who stared down at him. Jack had his hands planted at the sides of his head and his knees straddling Connor’s hips. He took one of his hands away and used it to brush some of Connor’s hair out of his face and then ran it softly against his cheek, the callouses roughly rubbing against the soft, smooth skin of his cheek.

“You look so beautiful, my darling.” he marveled. “So so beautiful. I mean it. I mean every word I say to you. I promise. You really are beautiful.”

Connor felt himself blush more before leaning up and stealing a kiss from Jack’s lips again, practically aching for more. Jack lowered himself to his elbows and sucked at Connor’s bottom lip, eliciting a moan in pure pleasure. Jack pressed his tongue between and past Connor’s plush lips before continuing on.

Connor moaned again and brought his hands up, one at Jack’s shoulders and upper back, the other tangled in his soft blonde curls. He eventually brought his legs up to wrap around Jack’s hips in hope to find some form or pressure or friction. He blushed when he felt Jack’s hard cock on his thigh through his pants, causing Jack to moan himself.

“Fuck, Connor.” he swore before getting up off of him and stripping the rest of his clothes off and then fumbling with the hem of Connor’s underwear, before pulling it off, revealing his own hardness as it sprang up and lied against his stomach, flushed red to the tip. Connor then stared at Jack, noticing his own cock standing full and red as well. His looked bigger than Connor’s did and Connor was somewhat intrigued by that fact as Jack climbed back onto the bed to straddle him once more. He grazed his hands gently over Connor’s chest, causing Connor to gasp when a hand ran over one of his nipples. Jack widened his eyes in surprise and kissed him again for a minute before pulling away and trailing kisses down Connor’s jawline and neck down to his chest, peppering the soft skin with kisses as well. Connor’s nails ran down Jack’s shoulders as he moaned aloud, feeling nothing but pleasure in those moments. Jack pulled away and came up a few minutes later.

“I’ll be easy with you. I promise, okay?”

Connor nodded. “I want you.”

“I want you too.”

What happened after that was but a blur of skin and heat. Bodies entwined together as lovers do, slick with sweat and passion. Fumbled kisses, breathy moans of need and want, a warmth in Connor’s lower belly that grew as Jack had his hand around him, stroking him slow and sweet. It felt as though pure ecstasy ran through Connor’s veins for a few moments before he pulled away and Connor looked down at the mess he made of himself on his stomach mixed with a bit of what Jack had done a short minute ago as well.

Jack kissed him quickly again before getting up off the bed. This confused Connor a bit, fearing he had done something wrong until he saw him go to the bathroom and come back with a damp hand towel from the cupboard. He came back to bed and started cleaning the two of them up, wiping the soft cloth along the dirtied skin.

“So… did you enjoy that?”

Connor nodded. “I did. It felt… right. It really did.”

Jack smiled. “That’s good. I was hoping you would. I enjoyed it too.”

Connor smiled, still a bit high in the post-sex bliss. “I’m glad.”

Jack hummed and finished cleaning up a couple minutes later and threw the cloth elsewhere where it wouldn’t bother them for now. He pulled the covers down on the side he was closest to and started to get in before hesitating.

“I- I’m sorry. I didn’t ask, I… Do you mind if I…?”

Connor smiled and shook his head, sitting up and pulling the covers near where he sat down himself and getting into bed. “No. Come join me. I want you with me tonight. Noah can sleep alone. He’ll be fine.”

Jack smiled at him and got into bed. Connor immediately saw an opportunity and snuggled into his chest. Jack carefully wrapped his arms around Connor and held him close, breathing in time with each other as sleep started to descend into their minds.

Connor’s final words that night were as he was pressed against Jack’s chest. “I love you, Jack.”

The last words he heard before falling asleep were a tired “I love you more” from his Jack before he drifted off into an easy sleep, feeling safe and warm in his lover’s arms.


	13. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no explanation as to why this is so late apart from writers block, school, and other works of mine that i work on (my imagines page, primarily. If you wanna follow it, it's iimaginehockey.tumblr.com ). It's here now though! Thank you for your patience. I love you so much!
> 
> Don't forget to kudos, comment, and bookmark!

Jack awoke to sunlight pouring into the room and a warm body pressed firmly up against his own. He opened his eyes to see the soft coppery hair of Connor- his Connor- still fast asleep.

So last night really did happen?

Jack kind of wanted to move, but at the same time, he didn’t want to wake up Connor. However, the bathroom is a pretty good reason to get out of bed for a bit. Jack started to pull away from him ever so slowly as to make sure he still slept soundly. First his arm which had been wrapped snugly around Connor’s waist, then his legs which were tucked up knee-to-back-of-knee with one another, and lastly his torso, using his now free arms and his legs to slowly and carefully maneuver away.

He sat up on the edge of the bed and stood up which was the moment that he then remembered that he was naked. He blushed a bit and quietly made his way to the en suite bathroom, noticing the rag from the previous night in the corner of the room. More memories made their way to the front of his mind, making him go red. He did his business and washed his hands before heading back to bed and cuddling up against Connor again, knees tucked against his, arm around him again and just enjoyed his warmth and presence. He couldn’t help but stare when Connor’s head turned in his sleep a few moments later.

Jack didn’t mean to sound creepy, but Connor was beautiful both awake and asleep. His face was relaxed and muscles soft. His eyelashes fanned out nicely and lips pursed and soft. Jack wanted to kiss him awake as though he was some kind of princess from a storybook, but decided against it and to let him sleep. It was his first time last night. Jack remembered sleeping like a log after his first time and he thought Connor would likely be no different.

He smiled as he felt Connor shift in his arms a bit later, giving a yawn and turning fully over, facing him, eyes half-lidded and warm. “Good morning.”

“You too.” Jack said quietly, not wanting to startle the young man in his arms. “How did you sleep?”

“Connor smiled softly, “Best sleep I’ve ever had… You?”

“I was about to say the same.” he smiled. “So… how do you feel?”

“Wonderful.” he said before giving Jack a kiss despite the morning breath. Jack smiled and kissed him back, gently cupping his cheek with his hand.

They pulled back a few moments later, touching foreheads and sharing space and air. He loved him. He really did. Fiercely, truly, and fast, raging like a fire. He loved him and all he was and he’d be damned if they didn’t at least try to make it work somehow. He loved him. And Connor loved him in return just as much. Or he hoped he did, at least.

“We should get up.”

Connor shrugged. “I don’t want to. Wanna stay right here next to you.”

Jack smiled. “As much as I like that idea, my darling, we must get up eventually. We need breakfast. And I can’t-”

“Yes you can, Jack. I can just order it and they’ll bring it up here.”

“Are you sure, Connie?”

Connor nodded. “Yes, I’m sure. We should clean up first, though. The servant who brings it up might get suspicious if he sees everything all mussed up.”

“Okay, love.” Jack said, getting up out of bed and going to find his clothes from the previous night. “So… how did you sleep?”

“I slept wonderfully, thank you. Best sleep I’ve had in ages, if I may be honest. What about you?”

“Like a baby.”

The room went silent apart from the rustling of fabric and the soft sounds of footfalls on the carpet. Jack picked up his shirt, his undergarments, his pants, his socks, and his suspenders, noticing his shoes were by the door. He sighed and started getting re-dressed as Connor put his own dirty clothes in the hamper, heading to the closet to get new clothes for the day. Jack would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t stare every now and then at Connor’s fair figure.

Jack finished a few minutes later and so did Connor, dressed now in a white collared shirt, another different pair of suspenders, an ironed and pressed pair of pants, a black leather belt, and his hair combed neatly atop his head. No matter what he was in or what he looked like, he always looked beautiful. Like some sort of angel, the sunlight bouncing off his copper locks to form some kind of halo around his head. Jack began to daydream off at the idea of Connor being an angel. His own personal angel that he could call upon whenever he wanted or needed him.

“Jack? Jack, love, are you alright?”

Jack snapped from his trance and looked up at Connor who was stood in front of him. “Yes?”

“Do you still want me to ask a servant to bring the food here or to go to the dining room? I don’t mind either way. I just want to know what you prefer.”

“I’d say bring it here.” the blonde American replied. “Maybe then I could show you more of my work from my book.”

Connor smiled. “I’d like that. I’ll go have someone tell the cook. I’ll be right back.”

And with that, he left, leaving Jack alone in the expansive suite. Jack grabbed his book and a graphite pencil he kept inside the pages and opened to a new, fresh page before titling it at the top.

“Mine,” he said aloud, “by Jack Eichel.”

Then, he began to write. He rarely had to pause for even a moment, his hand moving fluidly with the pencil across the paper, forming letters and words of sweet meanings and romantics.

“Sunlight’s streams on coppered hair  
On soft cheeks and sweet lips   
The sweetest life I’ve ever known  
For a few mere days at sea  
I sleep soundly and still  
My angel’s weight in my arms  
Alone in a world of our very own  
If only for a moment’s time  
I need them near and in my life  
All I need is to call them mine.”.

He smiled to himself and closed his book quickly as he heard the door open up again. “Hi. love.”

“Hi. Sorry I took a while. I couldn’t find anyone, but I eventually did. They’ll be up in a bit with breakfast.”

Jack nodded. “Thank you, love.”

Connor’s brows furrowed. “Jack? Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine, Connor.”

“What’s that you’re hiding then?”

“Nothing, I promise. Just looking at some old writings.”

“Oh… Could you read me some before breakfast comes?”

Jack nodded. “I can do that.”

Breakfast was eggs poached with English muffins, smoked ham, and a thick, rich yellow sauce alongside some potatoes and fresh fruit as well as coffee. It was one of the best things Jack had ever eaten. In between bites, Jack would read Connor another short poem to keep them entertained. Connor hung onto every word he spoke, a dreamy look in his eyes. He loved it. Jack was more than happy that he finally had someone who would properly listen and appreciate.

After breakfast, Jack noticed Connor was silent. “Connor?”

“Yes?”

“Connor, darling, are you alright? Did I say something wrong?”

Connor shook his head. “I’m just thinking about… about what will happen when the ship docks. We’ll go our separate ways and I… I will never see you again, will I?”

Jack went over to where his lover sat and took his hands in his, giving them a soft squeeze. “Connor, look at me. As long as I am alive, I know I will never let that happen. I love you, Connor. And I will do whatever I can to ensure that we don’t lose one another. We can write. I will write to you every day if I have to. I just don’t want to lose you and everything that’s happened.”

Connor looked him in the eyes. “Do you promise?”

Jack nodded. “I promise.”

“I promise, too.” he said. “I want this”

“And I want this too.” Jack assured, hearing the chiming of the clock in the room. The American man looked at the clock and felt his heart sink. “Connor, I really should go back.”

Connor sighed. “I know. I wish you didn’t have to, but Noah shouldn’t be left on his own for so long, should he?”

Jack nodded. “Yes… If I can, I’ll come see you later, though. I promise. I love you.”

Connor squeezed his hands. “I love you too.”

Jack nodded and kissed his cheek, before reluctantly pulling away and leaving, shutting the door behind him with a sigh. He’ll make it work for them. He has to.


	14. What Could Have Been

Connor sighed and went to the open air balcony, trying to think about what he could do. He loved Jack. He really did. It felt real unlike what his father tried to push with Moira. He only loved her like a sister as they had grown up together. But Jack… Jack was real. He was real and sweet and kind and handsome. What they were wasn’t forced. It was true.

So what could he do about this?

What could he do about being apart and feelings?

The last thing he wanted was for him and Jack to lose each other. To not talk to or write to or see each other ever again. Maybe even to forget each other. And he’d be damned if he didn’t find a way or at least try. He needed to.

He decided he would go occupy his time in one of the lounges. He had time to kill before he could to go see Jack again. He grabbed a couple of books and his key before leaving. However, all he could think of was him and Jack and what would become of them. He couldn’t focus on his books nor the waiters who occasionally came over to offer him something to eat or drink, which he usually declined apart from just some tea with honey later on in the morning.

He sighed and started penning his first letter to Jack. They didn’t have much longer together. The boat was to dock on Wednesday. They only had about 3 days more to live and to love like it was their honeymoon. So he figured it was time to get ready to face the music.

“Dear Jack,

When you read this, you will likely be home. I hope it finds you happy and in good health. What’s it like in New England this time of year? It’s newly spring, so the snow should be gone. Are the trees still budding or are they leafy and covered in blossoms? Are there any new flowers already growing in the parks and gardens? I want to hear everything you have to say. 

How are your parents? Are they well? I do hope so since they sound like lovely people. Tell them I say hello, alright?

Jack, most importantly I miss you. I miss your smile, I miss your kindness, I miss your laugh. I miss your eyes and their sky blue hue, I miss how you made me feel. I wish I could steal you away whenever I wanted for my own to just have and be with every day. If I could, I would. I would move you up here to be with me. Maybe I will when I am older, unless you have taken a wife by then. I mean that. I miss your strong hands and your warm embrace. How loved you made me feel. You really did all that I never thought anyone could. You make me feel like a person. Not a figure. And I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, Jack Eichel. I could never say it enough and emphasize how true it feels. I do. And I hope you feel the same for me. Even if we may never be truly together and wed, I will love you until my last day. It all seems so fast, but it’s impossible not to feel the way I do with you. You really are something special, Mr. Eichel.

Please write me back. I await your letter with great excitement.

Yours for ever,

Connor McDavid.

Connor waited for the ink to dry before folding it up and hiding it in a book and checking the time. It was only 12. It felt like it had gone on longer. He rolled his eyes and grabbed his books.

“I can’t deal with this.” he muttered to himself. “I’m going to go take a nap or something to pass time. It’s too plain in here.”

He left and went back to his room, feeling the need to rest come upon him once he opened the door to his room. He went in, took off his shoes and suspenders, loosening the buttons on his shirt and pants before going to his bed and curling up on top, his body bathed in warm sunlight from the large window nearby.

Connor woke up to find a pair of warm blue eyes smiling back at him. He woke fully and found Jack in his bed, lying there and facing him wide awake.

“Good morning, my love.”

Connor furrowed his brows. “Jack? Darling, how did you get in here?”

He giggled and kissed Connor’s forehead. “Silly, it’s our room. It’s not like I need a key. Only the servants need keys.”

‘Our room?’ Connor thought before sitting up and looking around. He was back home in his mansion in Canada. This wasn’t his room though. It was the master bedroom. The place where his mother and father slept, only there weren’t portraits of his parents on the wall. They were of him and Jack. Formal portraits in suits and out in the garden. Almost exact replicas of the ones his parents had of themselves.

“You must be so tired, love. You could barely sleep. Here, why don’t we roam a bit so you can fully wake?”

Connor nodded and got out of bed with him, still confused, but happily so. He was home. With Jack. The love of his life was lying in bed with him and at his home and it’s obvious that they had been there for a long time due to all the pictures. He was acting so casually. And then Connor looked at his own hand.

He found a golden wedding band on his ring. His eyes widened as he stared at it. Apparently Jack took notice.

“Hard to believe it’s been two years since we wed, isn’t it, Con?”

He whipped his head around. “Two?”

Jack smiled at him. “I agree. It’s hard to believe. Then again, I’m just glad your parents approved. Thank you for bringing me home with you.”

“Oh Jack…”

Before he even knew it, he found himself and Jack walking down a hallway. He looked around, trying to find out of this world differences that would blow his mind besides him and Jack being wed and his parents accepting him. Society accepting them. It was just so… False. And yet he couldn’t stop himself from going along with it.

He followed him down the hall until he heard noise from behind a large door. He knew this door. It was the door to the children’s room where he and his brother used to sleep and play as kids.

He opened the door and peeked in to see 4 kids of varying ages playing under the watchful eye of a nanny. There were 3 girls and a boy. The boy looked no older than 3, blonde hair and big blue eyes as he rolled a wooden model train along the ground. The eldest girl looked around 8 and was working on a cross stitch of some sorts, while the other 2 girls- both around 6 and 4- the eldest had blonde hair with green eyes and the other two had light brown hair and brown eyes. They all looked up.

The eldest grinned and put down her work. “Papa!”

She got up and hurried to the door with the other three children and hugged Connor tight around the middle. “Good morning, papa! Where’s father?”

Connor felt a little overwhelmed in the moment. This was a lot to take in. “Good morning. Uh… Father’s-“

“I’m right here, loves.” Jack said, coming from behind Connor and kneeling down, hugging the two littlest children and picking them up. “Hello, my darlings! Good morning!”

“Good morning, father!” the eldest said, pulling away from Connor.

“Hello, my Elise.” he grinned. “And good morning to Rosie, Rebecca, and William. Did you sleep well?”

One of the brunette girls- Rosie or Rebecca- nodded their head. “We slept well. Did you?”

Connor nodded and decided to play along. “We did. Thank you, my dear.”

She smiled up at him, hugging him next. “Papa, come and play with us! You too, father!”

“In a bit, my dear Becca. I promise. Your papa and I need to get breakfast first. Did you already eat?”

The nanny nodded. “They did, sir. They already ate.”

Connor smiled. “Good. Thank you, Anna. We’ll be back, loves.”

He left with Jack after giving the children- their children- hugs. This was the oddest dream he’d ever had. There was no way this could be real. Not any of it. And yet… Connor almost didn’t want to wake. He wanted to stay in this world with his Jack. Jack who was his loving husband and a wonderful father to their family. They had a family of four beautiful children whom they loved and cared for very much. He felt so peaceful and… happy. It was so nice to feel so happy and free for once in his grown life. It was so right. All of it.

Then he woke up.

He sat up and looked around frantically, trying to remember where he was. He was no longet at home with his lover and their children. He was back on the boat, alone in his room on his way back to North America to marry a woman he didn’t love, to take over a company he didn’t really want to run, to live in a mansion with no love in it unless children really did come about, which they may or may not even after he marries Moira, and with no chance of having Jack all to himself anymore. Probably never feeling that way again.

The copper-haired young man sighed and checked his pocket watch on the nearby table. Almost 3 hours had passed in his lonely little dreamworld and he missed luncheon. Three hours with his dream family. Three measly, stupid hours with his dream Jack and their dream marriage and dream children and dream house with nothing left but the memories in his head that would go away eventually. All that he knew the two of them had was until the ship docked in New York in a couple of days to be together and be in love. After that… Who knows, really?

Connor figured Jack would want more time alone and so he lied back in his bed and waited for his eyes to close once more, hoping he would see what could have been once more. Even for only a moment.


End file.
